“Hi! My name is Miss Dixie. I’m Dale’s milk truck. I’m writing this from Norfolk, Nebraska. More about that in a moment. For now, let me vent. My relationship with Dale is a typical man-woman relationship. Some things he just doesn’t get.
“Like my name. He’s had me since 2000, but just calls me ‘the milk truck’ or the ‘Divco.’ That’s just a brand name, Divco, Detroit Industrial Vehicle Company. Calling me that is like a man calling his wife ‘woman.’ Well, when Kent came from Nebraska, he asked Dale what my name is. ‘Duh…” After all these years, you didn’t care enough to give me a name? So, he named me ‘Miss Dixie,’ after the dairy where he worked, Dixie Dairy. This year I celebrated my 50th birthday. ‘bout time I got a name!
“Another thing, he could do a better job of caring for me. Early in summer he took me out for a drive. Not a romantic drive; he took me out to work, to haul lumber home for him from Home Depot. It was hot out, I was in a bad mood, so I stopped running at a busy intersection. The E.R. doctor called it vapor lock. I eventually got over it, but…here’s how dense men can be…he ignored me for over a month, afraid the heat would put me in a bad mood again. With no show of affection, things go wrong, like my carburetor. Kaput.
“So, about Nebraska. Dale speaks Saturday at the convention of the Orphan Grain Train. Fantastic organization. Google it! They wanted me more than him. They’re putting Miss Dixie on display! Kent and Carol came from Nebraska to put me on their trailer, kinda like the Queen of England in her carriage. But with my kaput carburetor, three seminarians came to muscle me onto my carriage. Joe, Ethan, and Garrett are great practical guys, not just theology nerds. They’ll be great pastors. As we all talked, each one spoke affectionately about his wife. Uh, Dale, get the point? Any guys out there like Dale? And, from your families and churches, send more people like Joe, Ethan, and Garrett to the Seminary. The ‘makeup’ on Miss Dixie’s side says, ‘Concordia: Delivering Pastors Since 1839.’
“One more thing, Kent fixed my carburetor. This lady is making sweet music again!”