The troubling passage about wives submitting to husbands, Ephesians 5:22-33, must be understood in the light of Christ. The key is verse 25. “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Husband, Jesus died for you. Jesus died for your spouse. He literally gave His life so she can have eternal life. In view of that, can’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher? Can’t you clean up your clutter that bothers her? You’ve had a long, hard day. So has she. Can’t you turn your grousing into presence and encouragement to your bride? I speak from my own faults. Years ago, I asked Diane if I could help her. “If you have to ask, you don’t care.” Do we bother to know our wives well enough to help without being asked? If we would model Christ’s selfless love to our wives, they will return love. It’s patterned after Christ’s love for the Church and the Church returning love to Christ. That’s what “submission” means.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful… Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
As a parish pastor, I met three times with a couple before their wedding. The first meeting was to talk about the wedding service. The second meeting was to look at Genesis chapter 2, the institution of marriage. I would start the third meeting by saying, “Let’s look at this passage where the Bible says wives should submit to their husbands.” The bride-to-be got a worried look, while the groom cracked a grin. After talking through the passage in light of Jesus’ love for us, after my stressing, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” the bride was smiling, and the groom realized that true love means serious, selfless service.
Ephesians 5:21 must be included as the lead for these verses, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” A woman once wrote me. “Yes, you can say that the husband is the head of the wife. Just remember, the wife is the neck who turns the head.” Who’s smiling now?
Comments